So much has happened.  You’ll now find me on Facebook.. marykgardner and motivating, sharing and connecting! I write about social media for the Orlando Business Journal but have greatly missed my blog.. so now.. I’m back.. and in the works..are some other things I will explore!!!

The book is done and about to be released. I released Blessed Chaos to a few special needs families and was warmly received.   By sharing our story, many people have been able to relate and have told me their own stories of BLESSED CHAOS!

I’m now working full time at Lamm and Company Partners, which I love! I’m the director of Business Development, marketing and PR.   I enjoy the work and the people with whom I’m working… so the change has been great.  Sway is taking care a lot more of the house duties.. and we’ve discovered he’s a WONDERFUL cook!!!  Our son continues to thrive in sports, school and music.  (although he now wants to change all of his activities b/c he says he hates swimming and piano)!!!  mgardner@lammco.com

Our live is back on track and going great. I’m starting to put together my next book on living the GLUTEN free lifestyle.. and diary free… which has helped us out a TON.

So, I’ll be updating and recreating ..creating and innovating.. as much as possible.. and seeing where life takes us!

Glad to be back and hope you’re well!!!

Mary

I can attest to the fact that the parks were crowded. There were times where making it through the crowds was nearly impossible. The lines of the attractions ran over and hour in many cases. People who were able to secure Fast Passes were able to soar through the lines with no problem. That system allows anyone to feel special a few times throughout the day if they plan their time correctly. It keeps people satisfied that at least they’ll be able to visit a few rides quickly and efficiently.

I learned an invaluable tip from a friend of mine who has a child with a disability. We were able to secure a special guest pass because someone in our party has a childhood developmental disorder and with the proper paperwork from the doctor which we were able to provide, we were given a pass which we’ll renew every 3 months. This pass allows immediate access to all rides with no waiting whatsoever. It’s the disability line, which is the same as the fast pass line. If you time it outside of the fast pass time, you can get up to the front of the line within minutes. Even if you go at the same time with the Fast Pass holders, your wait time is still only about 10 minutes.

The thing that impressed each of us was the unbelievable treatment we received because of the pass. We were taken on back stage tours a few times by wonderful Disney employees. We were sat in premiere seats whenever possible and were personally attended to if we needed anything. They wildly exceeded our expectations and felt like VIPS instead of second class citizens which often happens to people with disabilities.

None of our children knew how we were able to secure the VIP fast pass and only one Disney employee corrected the children when he called it a Disability pass until we stopped him in his tracks. We don’t want our kids feeling like they’re disabled, even though the disability that has occurred is a constant challenge.

For families with Autism, ADHD or other neurological disorders, this system in place at Disney is invaluable. Disney should be recognized for the great work they’re doing to promote excellent customer service and wonderful treatment of those outside the box.

I’ve always been a customer of Disney but now I’m a fan for life.

I love the ones at Whole Foods, the chewable wafers that taste like candy. They have Passion Fruit, Peach or they have a Blueberry, Blackberry one that is just as good. I take them all through out the day. Each wafer is 500 mg and the cold or the sniffle or whatever it is, is gone within hours.

Last year I had cold after cold after cold. This year, I’ve fought them all this way and haven’t had one cold.

I just had to say this, in the midst of cold season.. get these yummy vitamin C’s and you’ll be enjoying the winter instead of suffering from it!!

“She’s just getting old”, I thought.. “it’s typical for her age.”

Whatever my excuse, I finally realized, my dog Mallory wasn’t quite right. I’ve probably known intuitively for a long time. Her breath remained bad even though she’s on a good diet, and her hind legs began to shake a few months ago. She did appear to be losing weight and her food stayed there often but she always had a ton of energy when we came home and when it was time for her daily walk.

But I should have known. She’s got a liver disease. It’s the same one her mom, brother and sister died from within the past few years. When I got her weighed at the vet, I was surprised to find out she’d lost over 10 lbs. Her long hair hid it for so long.

When I finally got the test results back, the vet told me to come right in and we’d start the IV. I dropped everything, got dressed and came in. I couldn’t even cry because she hates stress and can’t stand anyone yelling or crying. I promised I’d remain strong for her.

Friends responded quickly to my urgent plea for prayers and asking support for Mallory. We spent two days between my husband and me, at the Vet while she got the IV. She came home with us at night with it, because I didn’t think she’d make it without us. She gets terribly depressed when we’re not around.

I brought my books, my blackberry and my journal and Sway had his computer when it was his turn. But, Mallory liked it best when I sang to her and hugged her and pet her. I sang her a song I made up, “Jesus loves the little doggies”. I think she particularly liked that one. I had to continue to reassure her when she tried to pull out the IV with her teeth.

The technicians and the staff said we were troopers for camping out. But I have no idea what other people would do? Would they leave their dog there? A hospital is a lonely place. I know, I’ve stayed in one for a month when I had my baby. (Truth be known, I got a ton of work done, watched a lot of great movies and enjoyed my time there with the exception of all of the tubes and such!)

But being with Mallory, sitting, laying on a bean bag trying to get comfortable with my pinched nerve in my back, there wasn’t anywhere else that we’d rather be. Love is love. It doesn’t matter if its your dog or a baby or a friend. If you love someone, you’ll do what you can to help them feel better and survive whatever they’re doing through.

Mallory will be on her 3rd day of an IV today at home. We’ll take turns. The vet is a personal friend so she’ll probably come over and deliver more fluids for us. My mom came over at 5am this morning to help us change the bad but for some reason it wouldn’t work.

We’ll do what we can do for Mallory to make her comfortable and to give her the best chance at a good life. If it becomes unbearable for her, I’d rather have her out of her misery. I can’t stand to see her suffer. I want her to have a good quality of life and not one where she’s in pain. I only want the best for her because I love her.

It all comes down to love.

Mary’s comment:
Sadly, Mallory died about a week after this post. Sway and I worked hard to keep her alive. We consulted with a homeopathic doctor, and our vet. We administered IV’s to her for 5 days 24/7. We sat with her at the vet and at home and when she stopped eating, we syringed fed her for about a week both day and night. We were mentally and physically exhausted. When we realized that nothing was going to cure her, we decided to have her put to sleep. We did it because she no longer wanted to be around anyone and she no longer wanted to eat.

We cried and criedd and didn’t tell our son for a full day so we could be more controlled. When we told him he said that his “heart was cracking.” I think we all felt like that.

We will always fondly remember Mallory – “Clew Bay Key West Wind” Our darling wonderful pet and friend.

It was beautiful. The first few days were warm weather and then the cold hit in the middle of the day on Thanksgiving. My family and my brothers family traveled an hour and a half to Ocean City Maryland to spend the day with my sister in law’s brother and his family. Their home is like a bed and breakfast on the water and with about 10 kids under the age of 8 running around, the day was full of activity. We had dozens of dishes to choose from along with all of the traditional holiday fare.

Just being with my brother and his family was such a great time. Each of us must have had about 5 super long, ridiculous belly laughs a day. We laughed at the stupid inside jokes that were from years past and silly things we did and said to each other that no one else in the world would get. We talked about serious things such as raising children and how to keep a marriage alive and well. We shared our opinions and our beliefs, and we tried to find solutions to any of the problems that we were facing. We shared business ideas and successes along with our failures.

We watched the kids enjoy hours upon hours of playtime together and we pulled them apart when they had melt downs. We got to go see the cousins at swim practice and run in a 5K the day after Thanksgiving. We went shopping for Black Friday at 5am at Walmart, and we fell asleep while watching silly movies in front of the TV and the warm fire. We opened presents and saw the joy that the little ones felt at their new gifts. The older kids, the teens, contained their enthusiasm, but were equally thrilled with receiving early Christmas gifts. I made sure the whole family was outfitted in Auburn University wear, and that their two teens, who are swimmers, now own Auburn Swimming wear.

Over the week, We cooked together, we laughed together, and we shared. It was a week of lots of down time, and lots of issues were discussed and solved. Together in each of our own way, we touched each others lives, hopefully for the better.

Each time we spend time with our relatives, memories are created. They’ll last a lifetime, and the discussions and decisions that are made as a result, will have life time implications.

I’m so grateful that we have a place to go where drama is nil, and the fun is a priority. It’s a blast to not have to put on airs and to talk about what really matters most in life. It’s comforting to know that if there are problems and concerns that there is a place to really talk to figure it out.

It’s important to nurture relationships like these. It’s expensive to make the effort but costly not to. These relationships make life solid and grounded. It’s family that have known you for your whole life and who know the good and the bad parts of you, and who accept you anyway. Even when there is friction, there is comfort to know that it can be gotten through without any long term damage.

Family matters; especially in this very busy life that we all lead. It’ nice to slow down and to just “be” and to be accepted and to accept others just as they are.

I’m so glad we made the investment because truly, Family does matter!

Remember the days?

Okay, anyone who is talking about being lazy during the summer these days isn’t raising kids. Or, perhaps they’ve rented a beach condo for the whole summer and trust all of the other people in their condo will look after their kids! And I’ve heard so many TV news anchors complain that we’re so lazy that we let our kids stay inside all day and watch video games and TV. They act as if we’re the ones who changed. Perhaps they’re right on some accounts, but not all.

Anyone who is raising kids these days has developed an eagle eye. We watch our kids like a hawk, in the stores, at the pool, and at the beach. No one would dare let their little boy go into a public bathroom anymore.. for fear of some crazy wacko who might be hiding in there to molest some innocent little kid for kicks. These weirdo’s might be hiding out anywhere, and as a mom to a 7 year old, we talk about the seriousness of keeping a very close eye on our kids. You have to know where they are at all times, and who they’re with. Even some of the people you know might be suspect. One of my friends’ daughters isn’t allowed to baby sit for one particular family any more because the father came on to her. She was 15. He was 38.

As a result of the current scary conditions of predators in our midst, the best alternative to kids sitting around at home is to put them in summer camp. Camp used to be just for rich kids, and lots of fun activities like horseback riding, water skiing and free swim time. But now, the camps are mini boot camps for serious athletes. My son has gone to two separate basketball camps and now he’s announced to me that he doesn’t want to play basketball any more. He’s in karate camp now and will receive his next belt by participating all week. That usually takes 2 months of practice 2x a week. I can imagine how difficult it’s going to be for me to get him to go back to karate!!!

I don’t have a judgment as to whether we had it better as kids or whether these kids do. Certainly the children now have more offered to them at an earlier age and they’re able to try many more sports and activities these days than we did. I’m a firm believer that kids should try everything and find something that suits their personalities. Also, then they’ve done it and don’t have a fear about trying it when they’re older. But I don’t think they have enough down time to run around and get into mischief like we did. We have to keep such a close eye on them at all times, that they’re constantly under the gun.

Last week, we visited a college roommate of mine who lives near the beach in north Florida. The kids all romped around their gated community like they owned the place. It was great to know that they were totally protected while we could just relax inside and not have to check in every few minutes. But alas, a gated community is no where to be found in these parts, and it doesn’t quite fit our current lifestyle anyway.

I continue to hunt for that perfect summer routine. I may have to go to Michigan to find it, but one of these days, I’ll be sitting somewhere near a lake or beach, with my child somewhere that I don’t know, and I’ll feel 100% comfortable. I dream of the day!

Until then, it’s 7am wake up calls for 8am summer camps. No more lazy days for us!