Somewhere along the line, they had to manage the people. They had to deal with individuals getting to work late or not carrying enough of the work load. They had to deal with egos of the people they hired, and to resolve conflicts that naturally arise when people work together.

Somewhere along the way, they also realize that they also have to cast the vision for the company and to motivate the team to stay focused even during difficult times.  These aren’t skills that they had used before in their positions, and sometimes come up empty handed when trying to figure out how to handle these different but very important issues.

Recently, I had the pleasure of working with a CEO of a midsized company. This individual had had a very successful technology career as a programmer. He was successful finding solutions to complex problems and his customers grew to love his work. Finally, he went out on his own and recruited some others to join his company.

To meet this individual, you’d believe that he was smart. He just looks smart! But you’d have no idea that inside, is a very socially nervous individual who knows that he now needs to build relationships with the CEOs of other companies and needs to learn how to manage high level business professionals who even have more experience in the workforce than he does.

It can be intimidating! Even for a successful CEO.

When we spoke, I asked the CEO to determine where the biggest stress points in his business life were at the moment.  He felt like he had no relationship building skills when he first met a customer.  He always felt his sales staff had the upper hand and he wanted to appear to be confident like a CEO should!  His sales staff seemed so comfortable talking with strangers and he just didn’t know what to say!  Another issue was trying to develop a business strategy for creating a vision for where the company was heading and lastly, he felt he was bumping heads with his team because he knew how to do the work and they resisted being told what to do.

We started with the basics:  How do we want to treat the customers? I asked him to identify to consider the CEO as a person first, and to get to know the other leaders as people. What sorts of questions could you ask them?  What sorts of things concern them? Is it about leading his or her people or is it about the economy? Is there anything obvious about where they are meeting you can ask about?  Or something that you could congratulate him or her on about someone who works for the company? I presented the formula to my client of FORM (Family, Occupation, Recreation, Message= passion)  This is a good place to start when having a small talk discussion with anyone. I also shared with him that many people aren’t comfortable in small talk situations, but that it is important and just a way to break the ice before the real conversation takes place.

Next, we discussed leading meetings and the fact that he was always attempting to solve all of the problems and not allowing his team to do it so conflicts were arising on a regular basis. So, we discussed learning how to coach others. The main point that I drove home was that giving advice isn’t the best tactic because it’s always better for a person to come to the answer themselves and not to be told what to do. So, we practiced ways to get the staff to come up with the answers on their own instead of being told the correct answer. This takes practice, I shared, but over time, can become a very effective tool to getting more and more out of his staff.  It also allows them to feel they have some control over their job which is essential for any individual to feel valuable.

Lastly, as he was shifting into the visionary of the company, I challenged him to be more prepared for the meetings that he led. Instead of just asking for status reports, I asked what leaders inspired him and how they handled things. Then we discussed different stories that he could share about historical characters, or modern day success stories of how other companies were gaining success in their own businesses.  I asked if he had constructed a “mission statement” and did each of his employees have one for their own business life?  What were the values that the company was built upon?  Together we started constructing what will eventually be the mission statement and vision statements of the company.

Growing into the position of leadership takes time, but it’s important to understand that it is a shift of roles from worker to leader.  It may take learning and practicing new skills that aren’t so natural at first, but over time, the investment that the CEO makes in being a more dynamic and motivational leader and communicator, can only increase the morale and image of the company. And when the employees feel good about working at the company, they work harder and produce more.

*
*

*Don’t take it sitting down.. you have to get out there and take initiative! Make the rules.. don’t follow the old ones! We’re living in a new day… and the leaders are the ones who will survive!!!
*

/Bill Taylor, co-author of Mavericks at Work, and one of the best bloggers on the planet,
said this:
“Now more than ever, companies and their leaders have to figure out how
to stand out from the crowd, how to stand for something special, how to
offer a positive alternative to the status quo.
/
**

**

*Ask yourself: *Is your business stuck in a rut? Do you desire to attract more clients? Would you like to turn your current clients into RAVING FANS and have them refer you to their friends?

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     If you’ve answered YES to any of these above statements, let our
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   *

   * We help YOU take the initiative, so new clients can find you and
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     find out dates and fees.
     Don’t delay! Call Today!!!

I knew I was bored,  and my skills were not being tested on a daily basis… but what was it, I wondered?

As a columnist for the Orlando Business Journal, I regularly was invited to the Full Sail University’s public and private events.  I always went full of anticipation because I learned that the events were always done up right, with  millions of extra surprises at every turn.

I had been looking into online universities to update my skills, but during that time, kept visiting Full Sail.  Finally, on a job board, I saw a post that looked interesting, and applied.  I never heard back!

So, as any resourceful person, I contacted my childhood friend there who was now a Vice President and asked her to present my resume.  In turn, she invited me to an open house the school has. That was where I officially became blown away by the school, it’s mission and where it was headed!

I decided right there to find a job at Full Sail. I found the creative people I always enjoyed hanging with and they found a way to make money at it!  I happened to run into the President of the University and introduced myself. He invited me to his office, and the rest is history.   I interviewed several places on campus and settled in at the admissions office.

I’ve now been there for about 6 weeks and couldn’t be more happy. The culture, the people, the job and the opportunity were exactly what I needed.  A new challenge, with dynamic people,  and working on a team who genuinely want to inspire people to be their best!

So if you’re looking for something new.. GO FIND IT! It probably won’t come knocking at your door. Try new things. Go to events. Show up and TALK.  Introduce yourself, and be open.

You just might find something new.. and even better than you could  have hoped!!!

Adjusting our expectations may be a part of doing business now, but also, there are many things that we can do that can help us adjust. We just need to have a strategy and get and stay prepared for what may or may not come.

1. Keep focused on moving forward. You need a plan that will keep you in a good mental place every day… for instance, turning off the TV and stop listening to the doom and gloom, and create a future for you and your business that will be of immense value to the marketplace. You probably need to spend some creative  time thinking about your new plan, and you might need to meet with new people to help you create this plan, but be for sure, you need to have a new plan that will keep you motivated to moving forward.

2. Decide to be a LEADER in your life, business, industry and community. What does that mean to you and how do you do it? It takes effort and practice, but at this time in our economy, people  NEED to stand up and decide to be a leader. Don’t live with others’ expectations on you. Be assertive and create answers, and create solutions to the problems that now plaque us. Turn into an investigator, learn the new ropes, study and evolve, so you can pass along this information to others and they can see you as the shining star that you are.

3. Practice Strength. How do we do that? Well, in the gym, you work out every day to increase your muscle strength, and over time your muscles start to emerge and show up where fat used to take place. So evaluate yourself- mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Where is the fat? Where can you start building strength that will balance your whole life so you can emerge as a stronger individual that will be a leader for others.

4. Get Current! Get on the social networking sites. If you don’t, you’ll be looking like a complete dinosaur in the next year. Jump  on the technical bandwagon and stop saying you’re not technical.. just do it and learn it! Talk about it, spend time doing it. It’s not going away, so engage with it and have fun with it!

5. Have FUN. If you’re having fun, then other people will have fun around you. Spend time getting out of the box, and getting creative and learning new things. The new economy is forcing people to go in new directions so be excited about it, and create new opportunities for yourselves and others. Think about new ideas that will draw people to you and your organization, offer fun times and offer sources of learning. People will engage with you personally and professionally, if you’re offering to take their mind off of things for a while

This new economy is really an exciting time! But you have to decide to  do it, and then keep focused on a path that will allow yourself to grow  and change and show yourself as a leader. It can end up being, the best
time of your life if you let it, and not your worst, as so many people  are seeing it now.

I  got to the car wash and had 3 one dollar bills tucked away. I scrounged around for another 4 quarters because it costs $4 for me to wash my SUV.  I found the three, then looked and looked and looked for that last blasted quarter. I searched the car, the seats, and the bowels of my purse, to no avail.  I figured, that the good Lord always knows what he’s doing, so I guessed I was going to have to ask someone, and I knew, that because I prayed to find one last quarter and didn’t, that this was supposed to happen that morning.

So, I wandered to the next car over to a man who was starting the process of getting his money out to wash his own car. I said, “Hi, I was wondering, well, I have 3 quarters, and I have two Nickels and a dime, I mean, two dimes, and a Nickel, and I need, ….”   His response was so calm and so focused and so perfect, … he said to me, “Talk to me.”

I looked up at him, now, not flustered whatsoever and I said clearly, “can I exchange what I have for your quarter?”  He did it without even saying another word and I thanked him and walked away.

I was able to clean my car but those simple words just stuck with me.  TALK TO ME.  TALK TO ME.

How I long to talk with someone. Really talk with someone.  I would tell him about the many perils of life right now that I’m challenging or that someone in my life is  facing.  I would dump it all and then wait for the next perfect words in the world, “it’s all going to be okay.”

When I pulled away, I stopped and rolled my window down and told the man, “Your words were brilliant. You just said something that I’m going to share with everyone… you said some very profound and important words, “talk to me.”

He laughed and came over to the car and told me that women can rarely get to the point quickly and he’s found, that if he just cuts to the chase in a calm way, it wakes them up and gets them to just say what they mean.  We both had a good laugh over this, because I have taught that same communication technique to SO many women over the years, but when I’m in my own flustered state, I revert back to communicating like God probably intended.. so we’d drive the men bonkers!

We ended up talking some more and sharing about our lives and I learned about his martial arts which fascinate me and I might try at some point.

But those three very simple and profound words, that he uttered to me in just a quick minute.. will stay with me for ever, and they will be the gift that I give to others, when I know they need it.

Talk to me.

And I will listen…

Talk to me… and I will care.

Talk to me.. and I will let you know, that you will be fine, because God is really there.

I’ve been in the midst of studying about the new auditory program that my son is about ready to start and truly, I do believe it is the way to integrate the brain. The program is a home based one and calls for a few month commitment, for 3-4 x a week for up to an hour a day. It’s a headset, and classical music, which they’ve proven to stimulate the brain more than any other type of music.

The more I read, the more excited I become about the possibility of my son being able to focus better, be more attentive, transition better, and be all around more calm.

I know I will use it too.. for the same reasons!!!

I’m steps away from finishing the program, and then I have to take a test, to complete the home bound training. Then I will be sent the IPOD and the ILS system and begin the training at home.

The waiting is the painful part.. But the anticipation is building..

Stay tuned….

A few years ago I attended and was honored to be the Master of Ceremonies at the National Sensory Processing Disorder Conference in Chicago.

At that time, I was able to view and hear about many therapies that work for kids who struggle with attention, ADHD, ADD,  Autism, or sensory issues.  The one that I found that I wanted to try for my son, was the ILS program.  Integrated Listening Systems, an auditory program, is the “Mac daddy” of all of the auditory programs. It’s a system you can use with your OT or one that you can purchase and use from home to improve focus.  www.integratedlistening.com

When I tried it out by putting on the headset and listening to the music, I immediately felt calmer.  It’s classical music thats just beautiful and puts you in a state of “ahhhh, life is awesome” mood!!

I wanted to use the system at home, and the time just wasn’t right, but FINALLY, I was able to catch up with life enough to get the speaker and trainer to come over from Tampa a few weeks ago and to tell her story about how it’s improved her own family!

She has three kids, all of which have been on the program. One of her children was surely to have been diagnosed on the autism spectrum at a young age.   He had sensory issues, focus issue, had an IEP with the school and was special needs. She did the program with him for a few years, although in the first two months, the results were DONE. She was able to effectively rewire his brain!

This child is now in high school. He’s a star athlete and student. He has many friends and she knows that it was THIS program that turned his life around and put in him on solid ground.

I’m reading up on the ILS system now.. and will be taking the training. I’m thrilled and look forward to reporting in on the changes in our household.

I told my son.. it’ll help your sports.. and with THAT.. he announced: “LETS GET STARTED”!!!

Just gotta know their buttons… and now… we’re off and running!!!

Both women looked at me with a little bit of “excuse me?” look, but then I proceeded to tell them how blue green algae is an anti inflammatory and how magnets can be used for pain. I explained how my husband was able to heal his torn rotator cuff by using some energy magnet medicine by Nikken, a company in which I’m representing. I shared that my son sleeps on a magnet mattress and the day after we added the magnet mattress and water filter system, the teacher asked in disbelief, “WHAT HAPPENED?? He was a different child and SO focused!”

By this time, the ladies were asking for specific names and asked for my email and my phone number which I freely gave. I’ve learned that people are incredibly open to receiving help from strangers, even if they didn’t know they really wanted it!

When I listen to myself talk, I have to admit, I’ve finally learned a thing or two about healthy living. I know that I started on this journey several years ago, but am getting more and more serious about it. I’m finding I don’t have the patience for any aches and pains, and realize that there is a cause and effect for every single thing. If my pinky is swollen up, then I realize, I must have eaten too much sugar. If I have a symptom like my arms falling asleep, then I know that I digested gluten somewhere along the way.

I’m starting to recognize the symptoms in others. When someone has dark circles under their eyes, I ask them if they have checked what food sensitivities they have? If someone has eczema, I ask if they’ve heard about how gluten in the diet can cause skin issues? More than once, I’ve gone up to individuals with severe acne and given them my vitamin formula that knocks out even the toughest form of acne!

The interesting and exciting thing is that there is SO much to learn about healthy living. I will never know everything, but I’m learning many things. It’s a fun course of study, and although I’m doing it because I’m a mom and raising a child, it’s something that all of us can do to benefit ourselves.

My family is already gluten free, and mostly dairy free, and moving more towards a plant based diet. It’s hard to eliminate mean 100% of the time now, but we’re cooking more and more fish, and eating more beans and alternative meat products.

It’s exciting, and hopefully as we age, there will be some other rewards, like healthy living, and of course.. looking much younger than I really am!

Do you remember a time when you had a special event to go to, so you spent time pouring through magazines to find the right look, hair style, jewelry and accessories? Then you finally went shopping to find the right dress, the right makeup, the right shoes, and handbag. Finally, you were ready to put the puzzle together. You spend the day getting your hair done, your nails, pedicure.. the works!!! And the night of the event, you step out and there you are.. the beauty you were meant to be!

No wonder most of us don’t look like the Hollywood Glam Girls! Their whole world is dedicated to their looks, but the rest of us know.. IT TAKES TIME!!!

This past weekend I had a ball to attend. I knew that I had a couple of dresses in my closet so I wasn’t overly worried. Yet on the day before the event, I pulled out the dresses and DISASTER STRUCK! Nothing fit! And the one dress that DID fit had a stain on the front of the dress!!! Intuitively, I knew that I was going to have to be creative with my outfits, and figured, “why worry about it.. no one is going to care what I wear!”

But.. next out came the Spanx; and now it was time for a little creativity! I ran to the craft store to see if I could doctor up the dress any way with sequins and finally used the home dry cleaning kit which cleaned up the stain. I jumped in the car and ran up to a store on Park Avenue that sells the most fun “bling” I know, and purchased an enormous ring that says: I’m the QUEEN for the day… and a bracelet that make me feel glamorous. I redid my nails, put on a fake tan, and spent most of the time straightening my now somewhat curly hair.

Finally, the look came completely together when we popped over to some friends’ house and in the closet I spied tome Mink Stoles. I whispered a possible.. “do you think I can wear….” And my friend JUMPED in to offer me the perfect antique shoulder stole. It was beautiful!

Now, with about a half an hour to doll up, I got to work! I already looked different with my hair straightened, so I focused in on making my eyes pop. The fake tan gave me a healthy look.. and before I knew it, I was transformed!!

When I stepped out to see my parents who were there to baby, they were WOWED. The outfit was really spectacular, and most importantly, I felt beautiful!!!

The funny thing is, is that I dress for success every day at work. But I don’t have the time to put into myself that I did for this event. I’m a full time working mom, and don’t have an hour a day to do my fake tan, and all of the extras that it takes to look as good as I can. Yet, I have to admit, it was FUN and I am SO glad I did it!

What it’s given me is the jump start to knowing that how we FEEL is an important component in how we ACT. The night I was made up, I acted like a Queen and was treated like royalty. Its given me confidence to know that even thought I’m not in the shape I want to be, that I’m not that far away.. and I know I can get there.

How many of us miss the opportunities that are presented to us because we don’t FEEL the part? How many times to we give up before we event attempt to try? We know we can’t get to where we want to go, so we just don’t start the process to get there.

I learned this weekend. JUMP IN. Move towards what which what you want… and do what you can within your power and then have faith that God will take care of the other special details along the way.

So go for it, glam up your life, accept that opportunity, and say YES, even though you have nothing to wear and don’t feel prepared! You might just find, your 1940s glam mink stole, just right around the corner!

So much has happened.  You’ll now find me on Facebook.. marykgardner and motivating, sharing and connecting! I write about social media for the Orlando Business Journal but have greatly missed my blog.. so now.. I’m back.. and in the works..are some other things I will explore!!!

The book is done and about to be released. I released Blessed Chaos to a few special needs families and was warmly received.   By sharing our story, many people have been able to relate and have told me their own stories of BLESSED CHAOS!

I’m now working full time at Lamm and Company Partners, which I love! I’m the director of Business Development, marketing and PR.   I enjoy the work and the people with whom I’m working… so the change has been great.  Sway is taking care a lot more of the house duties.. and we’ve discovered he’s a WONDERFUL cook!!!  Our son continues to thrive in sports, school and music.  (although he now wants to change all of his activities b/c he says he hates swimming and piano)!!!  mgardner@lammco.com

Our live is back on track and going great. I’m starting to put together my next book on living the GLUTEN free lifestyle.. and diary free… which has helped us out a TON.

So, I’ll be updating and recreating ..creating and innovating.. as much as possible.. and seeing where life takes us!

Glad to be back and hope you’re well!!!

Mary