407-377-6331 Mary@MaryGardner.com

We’ve all seen them. We’ve walked in a business meeting and seen the Debbie Downers, and the Negative Nellys. If we’re not feeling spectacular that day we might slink into the room, or if we realize the further we sit from them the better, we race to the other side of the room!

The mindset that we put out shows up ALL OVER OUR FACE and our BODY! So how do we control our outside impression when things are genuinely going wrong in our work, business or life?

For many years, I lived in a space of frustration.   I had a little boy that no one could quite figure out. He had the most difficult time with clothes! Starting from age 1 and ½ he would NOT let me put on socks. He would SCREAM until his little face was red and I would struggle with him trying to find something, ANYTHING that would suit him. It was a battle just to get dressed and what I eventually discovered is that he loved silky things that didn’t scratch his body. He had to wear shirts that were several sizes too big and he’d rather go coatless and be cold than put on a coat that constricted him.

It was a few years before we got him into Occupational Therapy and discovered Sensory Processing Disorder and I learned how to brush his little body to help the nerve ending settle. It was years later that I learned that toxins from the food (wheat, etc.) caused his body to be overly sensitive.   Those years were full of turmoil and eventually I kept a diary about the progress which became a book called “Blessed Chaos”. This book is how I helped my son heal off the Autism spectrum. (Today he’s an incredibly accomplished, charming, good looking high schooler on the football team. A far cry from who he was 10 years ago… my efforts paid off!)

But those years full of frustration made me a person with NEGATIVE energy. I was constantly thrown into a state of confusion, upset and stress. There was one time that I was walking through a stable of horses where we did some therapy for my son and when I walked by the stable with the horses lined up, the horses literally JUMPED in shock. It was my ENERGY that shook them up. I hadn’t even said a word, yet my energy upset the horses.   Animals are highly sensitive to energy but people are too, even if we don’t outwardly show it. If we’re carrying negative energy, we’re repelling people. (The interesting thing is, is that the horses nuzzled into my son like they found a long lost friend! He didn’t have the negative energy. Just I did!)

Did my own negative energy hurt my business? You betcha! I was a walking zombie half of the time and for a success coach/speech coach to be stressed? I didn’t attract much business. Now I know that 5 minutes of negativity can disrupt your day for up to 8 hours!

Looking back, I wished I would have known what I know now and realize that my frustration kept me stuck. Had I had a way to change my expectations of my little boy or an immediate way to know how to change my mental state, things may have gotten better quicker?  How would I have known the life would flow so much easier, and clients would continually find me with not a ton of effort?

Now, I rarely have a day with any stress at all. I am grateful to say that my life now is full of fun, interesting and exciting clients up to big things in the world, and I savor every minute I have with my 15 year old son. And now when I encounter something that throws my peaceful existence off, here are a few things I implement immediately:

  1. Deep breathing. Breathe in for 7 seconds. Hold. Release. Repeat.
  2. Energy medicine. This works amazingly well. Twirling my hands together around and around, I start at the top of my head and go down to my knees and back up again. Then I brush away the air as if there was something there, and then zip up my front with an imaginary zipper. Then I tie it in a bow at my neck level. If you need to research this, please do. Amazing results immediately.
  3. Step out of the friction and leave it alone. Don’t fight. Just leave. Let it simmer down and stop. Then address things later.
  4. Start mornings out with meditation, or quiet time. I like to pray and just reflect on my life. This quiet time centers me for the rest of the day.
  5. Exercise daily. This keeps me on solid ground and strong.
  6. Have strong connections with my Inner Circle. These are my close friends and family. If I get shaken up, one of them might get a call!
  7. I journal as often as I can. I discuss my thoughts, emotions, and my dreams and goals with myself. I realize that the more I get this stuff out, the less it’s jamming my head full of random thoughts. I have kept a journal since I was 12 years old. My journal is my best friend!

Our energy is a reflection of our mindset. Our mindset and our thoughts create health or sickness in our bodies so keeping ourselves free of DIS-EASE is a top priority and obligation that we have. When we have lovely energy that is full of acceptance and love, it puts us into the flow of life and things magically go so much better. When we’re stressed and angry, our bodies emit negativity and the world around us responds.

So check your energy often. Refuel it with healthy food, positive people, and an uplifting mindset. The more you do, the more you’ll see: “that if it is to be, it’s up to ME”!